Stuck on “Crazy”

My life seems to be stuck on “crazy.” This past Thursday there was a going away party for my former boss, who is leaving the company I got fired from. I was so excited, because I got to see all my former work buddies. I made sure to look good, but not too slutty: contacts and skinny jeans, and a top with lace panels at the shoulder. I walk in and Tylor – who was apparently already a few drinks in – is like “Jenny, oh my god! You look good girl, smokin’!” Tylor is a good looking guy (at one time I kind of had a crush on him) so this was very gratifying. I had fun chatting with everyone, and hanging out with C. At one point I was outside having a smoke and Tylor, Diego, C, Leilani, and Tylor’s roomate came outside. They’re like, “Come on, we’re having a drink at the car.” Tylor had brought a bottle of vodka, cranberry juice, and cups. So there we are having cocktails with no ice out of the trunk of a Ford Fiesta in the TGI Friday’s parking lot! So high school. They told me I had “big fucking balls” for cursing out my former boss, since everyone hates her and has wanted to do the same thing. I wish I could be proud of it, but I’m not – a few minutes of anger cost me my financial security and hence my peace of mind. Tylor was pretty drunk by this time, so when Diego (who is gay as a bird) said he was leaving, Tylor starts singing him a song that he wrote. WTF? The whole outing was worth it just to see that!  So as the night goes on Tylor’s roommate starts telling C how much Tylor always talks about her, and that he’s not happy in his marriage, etc. C and Tylor were basically the focus of the night, since most of the people there know what’s been going on.

As it got close to closing time, I went to the bathroom and had to walk through this group of guys hanging out at the bar. I could hear one of them say, “Hey she’s cute” and then “Dibs!” Oh lord. So I come back from the bathroom and they waylay me. One of the guys starts chatting me up. He’s cute in a preppy way, I would guess a bit younger than me, but nothing spectacular. They asked me if I like hockey (no, I don’t) because apparently they all play, that’s how they know each other. So after a few minutes of hearing about how great hockey is (really, guys, this is how you try to seduce a gal?) I made my escape and talked with Chris and Graham. So no booty for me that night. 😦 I got a text from C the next day that she and Tylor had sat at the beach and talked until 5 in the morning. They finally confessed they were in love with each other, and kissed. Tylor told her he just knew they’d end up together somehow. C is happy, but I just don’t see how this situation can end well – they’re both married, and Tylor has a child less than a year old. At least it’s not me in this fucked up situation!

The next night I had to work at the bar. There was a group of Pee-Wee footballers (kids and parents) staying at the hotel.  Some of these parents were real assholes, just rude, and shitty tippers to boot. The pool was absolutely mobbed with kids, so noisy. There was another group in the hotel as well – the Hash House Harriers. These two groups did not get along all weekend. The Hashers were here to party and get it on with one another.  They also did their runs in costume – this means men in drag, among other things. So the footballers were annoyed because there’s this group of “weirdos” who are drinking, smoking, cursing, and generally having a good time, around their kids. The Hashers were annoyed because there were so many kids around. Oy.

One of the Hashers started chatting me up on Friday night. He kept telling me I had this energy, and I was so open and fun and outgoing – let me tell you, no one has ever told me anything like THAT before. I’m normally pretty quiet, it’s just that I respond well to talkative, outgoing people like him – they bring out that side of me, which is why I love that type of personality. Then he moved on to telling me I was gorgeous. He wasn’t ugly, but I didn’t really find him attractive, other than his personality.  After a while a bunch of other Hashers came into the bar. There was this one cute little nerdy guy, and he and I started immediately giving each other the eye. Until I realized he was with this chick old enough to be his mother. Um, what? That’s when I started to realize that all these people were just hooking up with one another, lol! Sure enough, my Hasher (I found out later his name is Robert) starts talking about how he’s rooming with three of his female friends and that he can’t stay in the room because they’re all going to be hooking up with guys that night. Fun people who like to drink and fuck, maybe I should start Hashing!

So I ended up having a beer with him after I got off work. While were were sitting on the ground outside the hotel, another Hasher, Ganja Man, comes by and offers us some beers. Hell yeah! So he talks to us for a while, and Robert keeps saying he’s never been cock-blocked by such a cool guy. We end up going to Ganja’s room because he has more booze. So we all sit on the couch, me in the middle. They’re talking about running, and after a while start talking about how I have the thighs of a sprinter. Oh goodness, gentlemen. I tell them, yeah I have big thighs, it’s called fat! Somewhere during this conversation Robert falls asleep. Ganja keeps going on about my legs, and starts rubbing my thighs. Then he tries to kiss me! It would be one thing if I found him attractive, but I absolutely did not: older black guy with a lazy eye? I think not. So I pushed him away, and left a few minutes later. What a weird ass night.

Saturday Robert gave me his phone number and then had me text him so he’d have mine. I basically agreed to this to be nice. After midnight he started texting me to come party with them after I was done with my shift. I kind of wanted too – I am a certified lush – but I was really tired. I also didn’t want to lead him on, so I just told him I was tired and going home. Which I did.

Yesterday was slow. I got a few people after 10:00, but still only made about $40. Something must be done about this situation.


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