…and the Crazy continues…

Tuesday night I went to bar N with C, so she could give me more details about the whole Tylor situation. We were there for about an hour when these two guys walked in, a brunette and a blonde, both kind of preppy. They were pretty cute, but not heart-stopping. They obviously checked us out as they walked past our booth. Sure enough, a few minutes later the brunette asked us if we wanted some shots. I said sure, and C – surprisingly – said they could come sit with us. So the blonde, Greg, sat next to her and the brunette, Austin, sat next to me. They started trying to guess what we did for a living, which we had thought was obvious and apparently was not. Then we had to guess for them. Turns out they’re airline pilots – Greg flies commercially, and Austin does corporate stuff. I have to admit, this is kind of sexy. Austin was not really my type, and was dressed horribly – running shoes, red shorts and a t-shirt. But objectively a pretty good-looking guy, definitely a hot body under that shirt. He was in town for a few weeks just to visit Greg. The weird part is that he had been on a freaking reality TV show, lol! Tough Love on VH1. I don’t really get into that kind of stuff, and I’d never heard of the show, so I didn’t make much of a fuss about it. He said that it was a show about dating-challenged women, and that he was one of the “good guys” that the girls get set up with. So we all talked for a while, then I went out back to smoke. As I was coming back in I ran into Austin, who said that he was trying to make a love connection with Greg and C. I was like, “Aah, well, she’s married and in love with someone else, so she’s pretty much taken.”

The bar was closing, and Austin and I came back over here. I went to the bathroom and when I came out he was on my bed, naked. Yep, I was right about the hot bod – gorgeous. So we start getting busy – pretty darn good kisser, and a decent-sized dick. It was fun – and it was nice to be with a guy bigger than me for a change – but he kept trying to fuck me without a condom. That is really not cool, and what are you thinking, dude? So that made me a little tense. We were both pretty drunk, and he couldn’t keep it up with the condom on, so things kind of fizzled and we both just passed out. Woke up at eight in the morning to pee, and when I came back to bed he started things up again. He tried the same no-condom bullshit, which pissed me off, but whatever. He did at least go down on me for a bit, which I hadn’t had for a while, so that was nice. Eventually we started fucking in missionary (condom on, thank you!) and it felt great, but he was talking to me in this kind of high-pitched whispery voice. Not sexy. He kept going for a while, to the point where my legs started to hurt from holding them up for so long, but eventually I did actually come. Yay! So now it was his turn, and he kind of propped himself up on his elbows and told me to flick his nipples. Um, ok, that’s a new one. This went on for quite some time, and after a while he’s like, “Flick them with your fingernails.” Okie dokie. So after doing that for a bit he finally finished. I have been with a lot of men, and the nipple request is a first. It certainly helps ME to come, so I get it, I’ve just never had a guy ask for it before. We went back to sleep for a while, and then at around 11:00 I decided I was ready to be alone. So I got up, and he went and rinsed off in the shower. While he was in there I went outside and had a smoke. I was still finishing my cigarette when he came outside. So while he was sitting on the steps waiting on me, my neighbor Miles comes out to smoke, and the two of them introduced themselves. Awkward. I drove him back to Greg’s place – weirdly, close to where Jason lives. We both just said, bye, it was fun, nice to meet you, and that was that. When I got back to the house Miles was like, “Roped yourself a stallion, did ya? Good for you!”

On the drive home is when the funny-weirdness of the reality TV thing started to occur to me. I looked up the show online and spent all afternoon watching clips and episodes. It was so surreal. Especially since the “afterword” on him and his TV girlfriend was that the relationship was still “going strong” and that he was considering a move to Boston to be closer to her. Wait…hadn’t he said he was visiting from Boston? Hmmm, how long ago did all this take place? Weird.

I had decided that I wanted to check out this new bar downtown that had a movie night on Wednesdays, so I headed over there around 8:00. God I always forget what a pain in the ass parking downtown is – I drove around for 20 minutes looking for a spot, and ended up just paying $5 for a lot space. So I walk downstairs into the bar, and it’s totally dead. I mean totally – there are 4 other people besides me and the bartender. I ordered a drink anyway, and stayed to watch the rest of the movie. It was still early and I was starving, so I walked over to a little pizza place and ordered a meatball sandwich and a beer. I think they forgot about my order or something, because it took like 20 minutes. They gave me a free coke (I already had a beer) and offered me a free slice to take home, but I was going out still and it wouldn’t do me much good. I went next door to this bar that I like, hoping to dance, but they were closed. Damn, what a bust! I paid five bucks for parking for no reason.

I drove out to bar WS. It was actually pretty crowded, even more hipster than usual, though. There was this really nerdy skinny little hipster boy I kept looking at, but I suppose he wasn’t interested. This one guy started chatting me up, but of course I didn’t think he was attractive. After a while this really cute guy showed up with a not so cute friend. Once again, I was checking him out but he wasn’t looking back. Sigh. After a while I ended up out on the patio, and the friend started talking to me. Ok, here we go. Cutie pie (Johnny) is a carpenter and also a glass blower. Very cool. Turns out he is also 23. Not cool. Dear god what is wrong with me?! The friend (who is 40) kept going on about how gorgeous I am, and saying they were going to take me dinner and yada yada. Johnny got my number, but I will be extremely surprised if he uses it.

So I walked back to the car and texted Nate to see if he wanted a visit. He said he couldn’t because he had to get up the next day, and that his daughter and her mom were at his place. His ex is at his place at 2:00 in the morning? So I said, “And her mom…?” He’s like, “Well she [his daughter] doesn’t take care of herself.”  I sent back, “Well duh. None of my beeswax anyway…” I don’t know their childcare routine, but that just seems weird to me. Whatever.

I was going to just head home, and then realized I couldn’t find my keys. Fucking great! I didn’t see them in the ignition, so I called the bar – nope, no one had found any keys. So I called AAA, and they told me it would be 45 minutes to an hour. Goody. I had to pee, so I squatted right there on the street. I am a classy lady. While I was waiting, I noticed that there were people hanging out at the house across the street. After I’d been sitting on the curb waiting for almost an hour, this chick from the house came over and asked me if I was ok. I said yes, but she was like, come hang out our house while you wait. Ok, sure. It was her and her boyfriend and a friend. She was so SoCal: skinny, tanned, flat-ironed hair, and super thick fake eyelashes with lots of makeup. Really sweet, though.

During all this I texted Jason telling him what I had done. He’s like, “Oh no babe. I’m in Jacksonville or I’d come get you.” Uh, what? I said, “Sure you would.” He asked me if I was ok, and I told him I was hanging out with some people. I told him, “I’ve been having a very strange life since you dumped me.” He wanted to know what had been going on, but I told him it wasn’t anything worth texting. Ha, like I can tell him about any of it! I told him I hoped he was having fun, and he said he was ready to come home. I said, “Well get in touch if you feel like it,” and he said “I will do that.” Right.

It was taking so long I called AAA back, and they said that when I made my first call their system had been down and the request had been lost. Awesome. What the fuck is up with this night?! So I had to wait another 20 minutes. Luckily once the car was unlocked, there were my keys on the seat, underneath my jacket. So I finally made it home at like 4 in the morning. What a shitty ass night.

Now I’m so horny it’s ridiculous! I must be ovulating or something. I can’t stop thinking about screwing Nate. It’s funny, after I dumped Mark and started hooking up with people last year, I kept wishing for someone with a really hot body – I felt like I deserved it, dammit! But after being with Austin, I realized it wasn’t really that much of a turn-on. It was nice to look at, but in the end it didn’t really matter. Oh the things I’m learning about myself.


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