So on top of all my work-related stress, I of course still have a personal life to deal with. Not much of one, but that’s part of the problem. I basically have two friends, L and C. I used to be friends with this girl Denise, but she has dropped all contact. I don’t know if she decided she didn’t like me or what, but I haven’t talked to her in months. Megan moved away two years ago. Shan lives up in Newport Beach, but she won’t talk to me, I have no idea why. I’m actually very hurt about it, and I sent her a message saying so, but got no reply. She’s done this kind of thing before, but not for this long.
I haven’t been able to see C much lately. Partly because of her work schedule, partly because she’s trying to spend some time with Tyler. I’m really worried about what’s going to happen with her situation: getting a divorce, involved with a married man who has a new baby…she seems to be ok, but I still worry about her.
L is driving me crazy! She’s so negative about everything all the time. She doesn’t like anyone or anything these days. We’re becoming very limited in where we can go out, because there are so many places she won’t go for various reasons. When we do hang out she just bitches about how much her life sucks. I know what it is to be depressed, and to feel like your life sucks. I’ve battled depression my whole life, and my life definitely sucks right now, but I do try to not constantly bitch about it! Doing that just keeps you buried in the negativity. I don’t even know what to say to her anymore. I gave her the name of my former therapist, I wish she’d go talk someone. Lord knows I miss my therapist, I just can’t afford her now that I don’t have insurance. Blogging is kind of my new therapy, lol! I’d like to try to turn Beth and Dawn into new friends, but we’ll see. I need to join a club or do some volunteer work or something, just in the interest of meeting people, but I’m working so much right now that I honestly don’t have time! I feel very isolated, and I don’t really know what to do about it.