More Men than I Can Keep Track of…

Thursday 8/10 – Sunday 8/19: Justin.    Well it has been a whirlwind for the past week or so! To backtrack just a bit, the night before I met James at bar WS I met this other guy Justin – he was one of my customers at the bar. I opened at 4:00 and he came in about a half hour later. My heart was immediately fluttering – curly brown hair, cute face, cute glasses – have I mentioned I’m a total sucker for glasses? He was the only one in the bar, and we chatted for quite some time. Turns out we have a  lot in common – music, politics, art, etc. Hes’ a DJ, but he also works for the feds doing shipbuilding work and is in town for about 3 months. Oh reeeaally? I couldn’t stop myself from grinning at him (this is my version of flirting – I’m really bad at flirting), and I kind of thought maybe he was flirting with me, too – there was an awful lot of smiling going on between the two of us. He asked when I worked again, and I told him Sunday night. He left after about an hour, and I went and told Dawn, “My new boyfriend was just in the bar.” She’s like “Is he still there?!” Girl cracks me up.

So then Friday night I met James, and Saturday was work, bars IH and N, already posted about all that. So Sunday there were a bunch of contractors in the bar – they’re also in town to work on the ships. We were all watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, and Justin came in. I’m sure I lit up like a Christmas tree. I basically ended up standing on his side of the bar and chatting with him periodically while we were all watching TV. I went into the restaurant to get something, and told Dawn, “My new boyfriend’s in the bar.” So she and the other waitress Ann both follow me back over there and Dawn says, “You got a ho train followin’ you now, girl.” I just started cracking up.

At some point Justin asked my full name so he could FB me, so I wrote it on a little piece of paper. After a while he asked what time I was closing the bar, and I said any time after 11:00, it just depended on business. At the time I wasn’t sure if this was just an idle question, since he wasn’t being as flirty as before – I’m so ridiculously insecure and oblivious sometimes. Well, not an idle question. After a while, he’s like, “I’d love it if you could show me around San Diego sometime” and I said I’d love to. We went out to smoke together, and he asked what my plans for the evening were. I said that I hoped to be off early enough to go grab a drink, but there was just no telling if that would happen. He asked me if I had my phone with me so he could give me his number, and I said no it was inside. So we go back in and he writes down his number for me, and then he leaves after a bit. I couldn’t tell if the other customers were following all this or not, but I really didn’t care. I texted Dawn that my new boyfriend gave me his number, and she’s like, “Hell yes! He’s gorgeous, get it girl!”

Long story short, I got stuck at the bar until late. When I could tell that’s how it was going to be, I texted Justin and he was like, “Well I have drinks in my room if you want to do that.” I thought hard about this. On the one hand, he’s here for three months, why rush it? I should make him work a little harder, etc. On the other, lord he’s handsome! And I really like talking to him. I was still thinking 10 minutes later when he sent another text, that he was at the grocery store and what kind of liquor and mixer should he pick up? I texted back: “Vodka soda cranberry.” God I’m so easy, lol!

So I finally got off work at around 2:30 and went up to his room. We made our drinks and then he sat on one end of the little sofa and I sat on the other and we talked for a while. We had a really fun conversation, but he wasn’t really flirting with me – no compliments, for example, and at one point I wondered if he really did just want someone to hang out with while he’s in town. Ha! After a while, out of the blue he looks at me and says, “Can I kiss you?” I kind of went “Uh…sure.” Then he’s like, “That’s stupid that I would ask like that, I’m sorry,” but I was already leaning into him and so he kissed me. And didn’t stop. Mr. Non-Flirty was suddenly Mr. Horndog! We kept making out for a while, he tried to unbutton various items of clothing, I kept stopping him. At one point we were standing up kissing and he surprised me by picking me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around him so I wouldn’t fall, and he walked us over to the bed. God, he held me like I weighed nothing! He lays me down on the bed and starts really getting into it, and I had to make several attempts at stopping him before he would cut it out. Every time I would try to leave I’d make the mistake of kissing him, and he’d start the whole process of trying to get me in the bed all over again. At one point I was sitting on the couch and he was on his knees in front of me, his head buried in my chest, and he says, “I want to eat your pussy so bad.” Oh. Jesus.

Through this whole thing, I was extremely turned on, but really annoyed at the same time. When I say stop I mean it! I wasn’t trying to be coy or tease him, it was just all going a little too fast for me. I told him that, and said, “You’ll be here for three months, we’ve got time. Besides, anticipation makes it that much better.” I FINALLY left at 3:30 in the morning, and at 4:00 he texted me “Hope you drove safe.”

Monday 8/13: James and Tim.  The next day I was doing laundry and James stopped by to say hello. Um, wow! This was borderline creepy I guess, but I thought it was sweet – clearly he was thinking about me, you know? I had been planning on texting him that day, but just hadn’t done it yet, so, weird. I told him I was super busy (which was true) but that we should definitely get together soon. Then the Westin called me to come in and interview on Tuesday for a job I had forgotten I applied for. Well damn, I am having a super start to my week! Went to work and had a brief text exchange with Justin, in which  I told him about the job interview.

A bunch of the contractors were in to have drinks and eat. Most of them left kind of early, but a few of them hung out for a while. One of them was named Tim, pretty good looking in an all-American sort of way. He also had an outgoing personality, and started in on some “I don’t think Jen likes me” kind of bullshit. This is what guys like him do when you don’t pay them any special attention. After a while it was just him and his friend, and this older guy from Texas who was hilarious. Tim starts getting a little buzzed, and starts flirting with me. He was helping me change up the music (I have to tiptoe) and he leans over and says, “You know I love the glasses and that sexy body.” He kept going on and on about how gorgeous I was and how great my ass was, and asking me to get in the hot tub with him. He was cute, but yeah right! It was kind of annoying, but I can’t deny that I enjoyed the attention. I also started thinking, “What the hell is going on here? First James, then Justin, now Tim, all wanting to get in my pants, and all in four days! Are my pheromones in overdrive or something?” He finally left at like 1:30 in the morning, thank god.

Tuesday 8/14: Interview at the Westin, Justin.   Justin had to work from 5pm to 5am, and at two in the morning he texted me good luck on my interview. Awww. (The interview went fine, still waiting to hear something). So Tuesday I went to work at the bar, and saw Justin eating in the restaurant. I poked him in the arm as I walked by and smiled at him. I knew he had to work the same crazy schedule that day, but there was still some time and I figured he’d pop into the bar and say hi but he didn’t. Huh, well that’s disappointing. After a bit I texted him about the shenanigans the night before (partially to let him know that yes, other people want me too). He sent back, “Lol. On my way to work…This sucks!” I thought that he meant that having to go to work sucked because he wanted to hang out with me, so I replied that yes it did suck. The other contractors came in the bar, and told me Tim had been getting shit all day – they all found out what happened. And apparently he has a fiancee! Somehow this does not surprise me. Men.

Wednesday 8/15: James.  So Wednesday was my birthday. I ran some errands, worked out, yada yada. L and C couldn’t go out that night, so we already had plans to celebrate on Thursday. But as the evening wore on I decided I wanted to do something after all. I texted James, and he enthusiastically said yes. He picked me up and we went to bar TC because it was close and I was starving. God he looked so handsome! When he stopped by on Monday he had on big sunglasses, and I had kind of forgotten how beautiful his face is. This was one of the best dates of my life. We both got some food, had some great conversation, after a while started to touch each other a bit. He told me that the morning after we had fooled around, he was lying next to me and he could still smell me and taste me, and it made him feel like “the fucking MAN.”  I could have taken that in a bad way, but I chose to take as he meant it – a compliment. It actually made me feel very sexy indeed. Around midnight we headed back over here. He sat down on the couch and told me to put my feet up, took off my shoes and started giving me a nice little foot rub. Mmmm! At one point we started talking about his living situation, and I asked if he had a roommate. He was like, “Well sort of…I’ll tell you about it later.” I told him that I thought it was weird he wouldn’t tell me, but the conversation moved on. At one point he said that he really wanted to see where things went with us, and I responded in kind.

After a while he says, “I have something to tell you but I don’t want to ruin your birthday.” I said, “Well you kind of have to tell me now.” He says, “You know how you were asking about my roommate? Well…It’s my wife.” I think at first I thought he was kidding. I sat up and said, “You’re fucking MARRIED?!!!” Turns out he had his ring on a fucking chain around his neck. He said they were “trying to work some things out.” So you’re in the process of divorcing? “No, not really.” I told him several times he should just get out, but he kept trying to explain himself, and not very well. He mostly just hemmed and hawed, and apologized for ruining my birthday, and didn’t explain shit. He finally left, and I stomped outside to have a smoke. I had left my door open while we were talking, and my neighbor Miles said, “I heard every word.” I said “Good!” Oh my god, I was so angry! And so disappointed! I had been having a really good time with him, and he’s gorgeous, and he’s fucking married?! But of course he is, god forbid I want someone I can actually have.

Thursday 8/16: L, C, Alex.  Thursday was my official birthday celebration. I had planned on dinner and then going out with L and C. C told me she was bringing Tylor. Um, I didn’t invite him and don’t really want him to come, but whatever. Sushi didn’t work out (rude server) so we ended up going to bar MP. Tylor was already drunk and kind of annoying everyone, including C. She told me that she was starting to see what everyone had warned her about. Well that’s great, C, thanks for bringing him along to fuck up my birthday even further. She didn’t even get me a present! She had gotten one for L, wtf? Tylor was really sweet to me, though, telling me that if I needed any kind of help financially to let him know. He was really wasted so C took him home early. L and I went to bar H. As usual, tons of men but not very many cute ones. There was one cute guy that I noticed playing pool, pretty much the best looking guy in the bar in my opinion. Wearing a plaid shirt, of course, lol. L and I went out to smoke and started talking to this guy who asked for a light. Pool-playing cutie comes barreling out of the door, and as he passes me waves and says, “Hi!” He went a ways down on the sidewalk and got on his phone, as I’m standing there thinking, “What the hell? Do I know that guy? Have I fucked him and don’t remember, lol?”

We went back inside and L went to the bathroom. While she was gone a very unattractive gentleman came over and started talking to me, but I managed to get rid of him pretty quickly. I’m telling you, I must be putting out some kind of signal these days, and I just don’t even know it! When she came back I told her about it and we commiserated about how it’s never the cute ones who make a move. Not 10 seconds later cutie pie comes over and starts talking to me. Wtf, LOL! He told me he was a civil engineering grad student up at Berkeley and was visiting his hometown because he had to put his dog to sleep. Oh jesus. He told me I had the most perfect lips and teeth and gorgeous smile he’s ever seen. We kept talking and I was looking for a moment to pause and introduce L, I felt like we were ignoring her. Then all of a sudden she was gone. I figured she stepped out for a smoke and so I kept talking to cutie, whose name is Alex. Slender, dark hair, gorgeous big blue eyes. When she didn’t come back after a while I went outside to look for her. Not there, so I texted her. No response, so I left a voicemail. I wasn’t too worried, I figured she had taken a taxi home or something, but I did feel really bad. I knew exactly why she left: I’ve been getting a lot of male attention lately and she hasn’t, and I know she’s upset about it. So then this cute guy comes over and starts talking to me and I start ignoring her…yeah I’d be pretty mad, too.

So Alex and I came back over here and started making out on the couch. He’s only 26 (weird, same age as Justin) and could not get over the fact that I’m 38 – he kept telling me how beautiful I am. Good kisser, but: he kept like grinding his forehead into mine – very weird, and very distracting. He gave me a nice long foot massage, though. He told me he hadn’t been with anyone in a long time, and I kind of believe it – he was a little bit awkward. For example, I had to tell him not to hold himself off me, that I wanted to feel his weight on top of me. He is also very hairy – I don’t mind chest hair, but please wax the shoulders and arms, boys!

We got in the bed to get down to business. Not a big dick, but rock-hard, that’s nice. I had told him I was on my period (dammit!) and he was disappointed because he likes to go down. Dammit! But after a while he put me in 69 and told me to put my pussy on his face. Well, ok. He buried his face in there and started licking my ass, too. That’s not a huge turn on for me, but it does feel good. He told me a few minutes later he’d never done that before. We started having sex and he immediately put my legs over his shoulders and leaned over me. Whoa, that’s a little much to start, so I made him put one of my legs down. Ah, there we go. We were using lube but things kind of dried out after a while anyway, god I fucking hate condoms! I didn’t feel like interrupting things to get more, though, so I just let him finish. A little ouchy, but whatever.

Woke up the next day and of course he’s already hard and starting things up again. I just couldn’t quite get into it, so I ended up giving him a blow job, for which he complimented me on my skills. Years of practice, kid! One nice thing about a guy not having a big dick – blow jobs are WAY easier.  He’s another one of these guys who I can’t tell when they’re about to come – I couldn’t tell the night before when he was fucking me, either. It’s kind of annoying, because that buildup (physical and vocal) is a real turn-on, and makes their climax that much more satisfying for me. Oh well. We laid there for a while snuggling and chatting. He was like, “Look at you, you look better than lot of girls my age!” I got up to go to the bathroom and he says, “Wow, look at that ass.” I have gotten this particular compliment many times, so later that afternoon I looked at that ass in the mirror. I have to say that I do NOT understand what guys are seeing, because I think my ass just looks flabby and gross. Bent over slightly, ok, I can see how my curves would look good, but just standing up or walking around, not so much.

Friday 8/17: Shan and James.   On Friday my friend Shan came to visit me. I was so excited, since I hadn’t seen her since January. We both agreed about the hotness of plaid shirts, although we can’t explain it, lol! We went out to dinner at Starlite, then to have a drink at IH. Shannon is very outgoing and a little nutty and we got into a bizarre conversation with these three guys. After that we went to go dance at bar WS. God it was hot as shit in there! Still fun, though. The next day she took me to drop off my rental car and then to the shop to pick up my car, and then she had to leave. When I got back from picking up my car there was a note in my mailbox. From James! He had written me a very nice apology. I read it over several times, not sure how to feel about it. Then I burst into tears. It just seemed so unfair that the only guy my age, who I’ve really felt a connection with, was married and I couldn’t have him. It was like all the craziness and disappointments and stress of the past few weeks kind of hit me and I just sat there crying, feeling like I was about to shatter into a million pieces.

I managed to pull myself together after a few minutes, and sent him a text: “Thank you for the apology.” I have felt surprisingly ok about everything for the past couple of days. At least I haven’t thought as much about dumbass Jacob. I kind of get the feeling like Justin has bugged out, which is disappointing, but we’ll see.

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