Dumped Again

Well I guess I don’t need to worry about what to do about Jordan, since he dumped me last week. At least he had the decency to call me, and not just disappear or text me or something. He got a promotion at work a couple of weeks ago, which he was super excited about. I was pretty jazzed, too, since I was hoping a bigger paycheck might mean he’d actually take me out every now and again. And I was really happy for him too, of course. He texted me telling me the news, and I offered to take him out to celebrate, my treat. But of course he just wanted to have beers at his place. Sigh. So I went and picked up some beer – and a small bottle of Sailor Jerry for good measure – and went to his place. We made some food and were chatting, and at one point he said something like, “Yeah I don’t really like to go out.” I said, “Don’t tell me that.” He said that since he used to work in restaurants he doesn’t like to be in them. Um, what? I’ve worked in them for 16 years, and I love to go out! I’ve never met anyone in the industry who doesn’t! But whatever, I just let it pass. We otherwise had what I thought was a great conversation.

His roommate and his girlfriend came home, and we played a few games of Monopoly Deal with them, which was fun. Then we went to bed and had some pretty damned good sex. I left thinking what a great night we had had, and that maybe it could work out with us. He texted me the next two days, Tuesday and Wednesday, just hey how’s your day kind of stuff. I told him that I was available on Friday or Sunday that weekend if he wanted to do anything. He said he was working early on Saturday and then 11 – 7 on Sunday, but that we’d figure something out. I said, “well poo” and he sent back “I know right?” Then I said, “Well seven is early,” but never got anything back. Friday I sent him a 2:30 AM drunk “Hey what’s up?” and he texted me the next day saying he’d been asleep, which was what I already figured. Sunday I texted him that I was off that day and Monday, and he sent back that he was going to a work event that he “forgot about” and then opening early on Monday. I said “Ok, let me know about tomorrow.”

So I already felt like something was up. Since we’d been seeing each other, he was always the one wanting to hang out, willing to work around schedules or not get much sleep, or whatever, in order to see me. So this whole thing just felt weird. Then on Monday when I finally dragged my ass out of bed I saw that he had called me, and hadn’t left a voicemail or text, which he always did. And so I knew: he’s calling me to break up. I sent him a text “Hey sorry I missed your call, what’s up?” He called right back, and did the deed.

He basically said that since his promotion he’d been thinking about a lot of things, including us. He told me that I was so “amazing in bed” (!!!??) that he was reluctant to hang out with anyone else, and that he “needed some time.” He was like, “I don’t know, I don’t know, what do you think about all this?” I was absolutely floored (and flattered) by the revelation that I’m apparently hot stuff in the sack, but what I said was something along the lines of, “Well, I really like you and I’ve been having a great time. I guess I wasn’t sure if it was going to go anywhere, but I’ve definitely been having fun…” He said that he had kind of gotten that “vibe” from me, that it wasn’t really a long term thing. So then of course I started thinking, “Oh good job Jen, you’ve somehow managed to fuck up this one, too.” He was hemming and hawing, and so I said, “Jordan, if you want to end it, it’s ok. I’m a big girl, I can take it.” He signed off saying, “I don’t know, I just need some time. I’ll give you a call, Jen.” Right.

A week later (a week ago tomorrow), I got a little tipsy and texted him “Thank you for calling me, instead of just doing the fade out. I really do appreciate it. I think you’re amazing. Good luck with all you do. :)” He sent back, “I owe you that much at least. I think you’re amazing, too, Jen, I just think we’re different people/interests. And I’m just figuring my shit out…”

I know he’s right, and I was  never sure about him. We are very different, but I don’t think it was necessarily insurmountable. And I have to admit that I really miss him.  Part of it is simply not having anything else going on and being lonely, but I do think I actually miss HIM. He was cute, and smart, and sweet, and the sex was only getting better. The problem for me was that he didn’t make me feel appreciated as a woman, and so I was holding back emotionally.  Maybe that’s what he was talking about, with getting a vibe like I was only interested in a short term thing? But I mean really dude, learn how to give a compliment every once in a while! I don’t know, I’m obviously still clueless about this whole relationship thing, even after all these many years.

The funny thing is, if it had to happen, it was perfect timing: the very next day I had my first appointment with a career counselor. I’ve scheduled four sessions, just trying to figure out exactly what I want to do, and make a start on getting there. I have work I have to do for that, and a ton of stuff to work on for my class, so I am actually super busy, and a semi-boyfriend would have been a distraction. But damn him, I’m already feeling the lack of sex!

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