Well, after the most recent dating disaster, I realized something: my emotions always lead me astray, and I have terrible judgement. So apparently I need some concrete rules to abide by, no matter how great I think my new Mr. Wonderful is. The following may seem obvious to everyone else, but somehow I never managed to learn them. Now I just need someone to practice on…
Never, ever, EVER cancel any sort of plans for him.
Make him do 100% of the work. No texts or calls other than in response to his.
Either of the following criteria must be met for sex, whichever comes first: we’ve been dating for one month, seeing each other AT LEAST once a week; or I feel so comfortable with him that I really and truly trust him, and feel no reservations about finally having sex – I want to be able to really trust and let go.
During makeout sessions, anything below the belt is off limits. If we’re not going to have sex then taking it that far is really just not fair to either of us. There’s plenty of time, we’ll get there.
If he starts being very complimentary early on, tell him to stop it! If he asks what the problem is, explain that this is part of my normal dating pattern: the guy acts super into it in the beginning, but then in a few weeks he has disappeared. Tell him to show me how he feels through his actions. If the point comes when we’re getting more serious, then he can start laying it on, lol!
By no later than the third date, “the conversation” about what we’re both looking for must be had. If he says he’s “not looking for anything serious,” then I must end it. MUST END IT, I don’t care how great of a time I’m having. If he really likes me enough, he’ll come after me.